Peter and I went outside to play a few weeks ago and there were tiny bird footprints in the snow. I wanted to take a picture of the beauty of it all: Peter's awe of the way fresh snow tastes, his footprints next to the bird's. But instead I stayed outside with Peter and played. So three minutes later, the footprints were lost in the mess of how many times a toddler falls down when discovering snow. That's pretty much the story of this Christmas and winter so far. The moments of wonder come, but I don't have time to run in for my phone or my camera. I have to capture them in my memory. And memory is a difficult thing to share via blog.
Back to my original point though, my anxious anticipation of spring. It's too early for this kind of discussion, I know. But I can't help but mention the way it shades my days because it means every time I go outside, I am surprised anew at how cold it is and how white the mountains are. The blank slate of the sky shocks my eyes. I feel like there's something hiding behind the now. Is the true sky, that blue canvas, being repainted so it's bright again? Is my compost magically turning into the rich soil it should under that heavy, crunchy snow?
And ultimately, is this baby growing inside me getting ready to come out?
Because even though spring really doesn't start until March 21st, I claim it begins on March 4, my Birthday. I always have. Because I am a spring baby. And this baby, due two days after my own Birthday, is a spring baby too. I wonder what color the hair is that covers his or her head. Is it dark like Peter's was? Everything is a mystery, even the timing. My mother says this baby definitely won't be as late as Peter was. But the dramatic change of having a second child is sort of blowing my mind. Enough so that I still manage to forget that I'm pregnant during the day. Despite how difficult this pregnancy is, I can't yet see what life will be like with another. And sometimes I am desperately afraid that Peter knows how much I love him and will always love him. I already know that, like the difference between loving each of the seasons, my love for Peter can't be measured against my love for the new little one. It's different. I don't know how. It just is.
But because of all the mystery, I wait for spring. I want to wipe away the whiteness and see what the sky is up to.
You really can't rush things though. I don't want the baby to come early. I don't want winter to end before it should. My garden needs the snow packed in the mountains for later. I need the icy air now to store away for July's melting heat. I want to pack a snowball in my freezer for later, even though I know it wouldn't work so well. But I can't stop time to take pictures because I'm too excited. Mentally, I just can't keep still (even if physically I have to).
So my supply of photo updates is pretty sad, but represent only a tiny portion of all the adventures we're having.
Peter had a Birthday (you know, back in October)!
He got cool toys, which he is still learning how to play with...
We made sugar cookies with my mom, Maylee, Tommy, and Peter! I even let him cut out, well, helped him cut them out.
Peter discovered how much he loves being in pictures. Good luck taking a photo without him running toward you full throttle! It makes non-blurry images a challenge.
I don't know it new baby is a boy or girl, so here are the outfits my mother-in-law got me for either scenario! Also, I am pregnant. Apparently, I don't take enough photos of myself pregnant. To be fair, selfies don't really include my whole self.
I just love this shot of Peter playing the piano. This boy loves music.
He got a baby doll for his birthday. Fortunately, he loves it! Yay for being an older brother! Unfortunately, he loves to eat its face. Yay for being an older brother!
One time he put on Neal's jacket and looked like a tiny Sith Lord. It was adorable. But this is the best shot since he won't stay still ever.
He can't reach the pedals while playing the keys, so he takes turns.
This is maybe my favorite photo of Neal and Peter. Man, the blue sky and their blue eyes and their cute faces! Gee I love my family.
We took Frontrunner to Salt Lake. Peter pretty much adored the entire experience. I did too!
This photo seems ridiculous now. This was one of the first times Peter "adorably" climbed on a chair by himself, and then on the table. Now that it happens every ten seconds, it's less adorable. How is this kid going to survive?
Peter is wondering what's going on with my tummy. It's so big!
We took crappy photos on Christmas, but this is a good one. Peter's stocking had all the donuts he could eat, no limitations. Also, apparently three donettes is Peter's self-imposed limit. Amateur.
He also got this awesome kitchen set for Christmas! It's for three and older. But Peter doesn't mind playing above his age group. This kid loves to pretend to cook, and shares spoonfuls of his creations.
Above all else, Peter wants to be helpful. Here he's again "adorably" climbing up the step stool to help Neal hang something.
Neal build himself a desk that is at meditation pillow height! Peter thinks it's great for playing.
No matter what time it is, Peter is always ready to go outside. Also, his boots really give him a good look here.
This was supposed to be an 'after' photo of Peter's haircut, but really it's how he steals the chair you want and lounges in it with his very manly yellow flower purse (I mean, European hand bag).
So, I cut my hair! I have no 'after' photos yet, since I only got it cut Thursday. But this was just the initial cut! So, yah, like a foot and a half later and I still have decently long hair. I feel like I'm back in the realm of reasonable hair, but I've lost my claim to Rapunzel like fame with Maylee.
Here's a slightly better photo of Peter after his haircut. It was team cut by Neal and I. Hey, you can see his eyes! Also, he's crying because I am trying to take a picture and won't simultaneously show him the pictures. Logic!
