Another day, another destiny

Tonight is again the time where I find my journal (it's a bit dusty from being hidden under the bed so long) and consider the past year. I know, I know; tonight is everyone's night to think about the last year. Perhaps I'm a bit unoriginal. Really, I make more goals during March (the month of my Birthday) than January. I do like to think about life though. You could say I'm a reflective person. There's always two parts to the reflection though; what happened in my own life and what happened on a grander scale.

My Life: graduated from college, completed my Honors, began graduate school, starting teaching at the university, attended my sister's wedding (the first woman in my family to get married!), climbed Ben Lomond, left the country (briefly, but Canada counts), moved to the west side of town, went cliff jumping...sort of, broke up with my first boyfriend, learned how to make green smoothies, tasted non-alcoholic beer (terrible stuff), busted my father's truck window with my bare hands, finally learned how to crochet successfully, ran for more than 2 minutes for the first time since elementary school, learned how to make bread, kept my first herb garden, finally took a picture I was proud of, tried dairy-free, sugar-free, fat-free, gluten-free diets to see if they worked (they didn't), tried eel for the first time, learned how to play softball, saw my adopted nephew join our family forever, began using a nalgene water bottle (yah, now I'm one of those people), opened my own eBay account, had my first operation in about 15 years, and saw the last of my freshman 5 girlfriends get engaged.

It has been a good year. Lots of growth. However, I wonder how much my own life is connected to the bigger picture: Sudan voted to become and independent state, the Tunisian government falls because of protests, President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt resigns because of protests, a giant tsunami hit Japan,
 Osama bin Laden announced dead, Kim John-il pronounced dead, NASA's space shuttle program ends with the landing of the Atlantis, and many many more events of importance.

I wasn't even paying attention for some of these events. In fact, this summer when I made friends with international students through my job was the first time I cared enough about world events to start reading past the headlines. Suddenly it mattered to me what happened in Cambodia and Iraq because I have friends who live there. I don't magically have more time to look up what is happening in the world. I don't even have television. And the world events had little or no impact on my life. I'm living a privileged lifestyle. I may joke that my grad student budget is tight and I may admit that student loans stress me out, but I realize that each breath I take is a gift. There are billions of people on this planet that I may never meet, but I have more appreciation for those that I do meet.

So, as I look toward the supposed ill-fated year of 2012 I see it with hope. I hope to do as Thomas Monson says, to live an abundant life regardless of my circumstances.

Sing Sweet Nightengale

Waiting is not my favorite activity. I must correct myself. I do enjoy waiting for sunrise after a good night's rest, for my check at the restaurant while having wonderful conversation, for the laughter of friends during a funny story, and for the feeling of warmth of a cup of cider as I relax. I do not enjoy waiting for test results, grades on my papers, or phone calls. I just about lost my mind waiting for Fridays. And sometimes, I do get a bit antsy waiting for my dreams to come true. The other day I felt just like Cinderella singing to herself, "A dream is a wish, your heart makes, when you're fast asleep." As much as I liked Cinderella as a child; I have woken up to realize that Cindella let an awful lot of opportunities pass her by. It takes three movies for Cinderella to take charge of her life. She needed a fairy godmother to make her a pretty ballgown so she could woo the prince? And in the end it wasn't her personality that won her the prince, but small feet and a helpful bunch of mousy and chattery friends. I have significantly larger feet and my friends in no way resemble woodland creatures. Neither do I have any evil relatives who would keep me from obtaining any happiness that I did find.

And I cannot be the passive woman that Cinderella was, even though I may share her dreams. I may have to wait for some things, but waiting is not a passive activity. Waiting is more than sighs and stillness. It is moving forward. It includes hope and happiness in the moment.

So as I wait for dreams to come true, I'll be a bit more Cinderella in a few ways. I will clean out the dusty corners of my mind and serve those around me with a smile and a song. I will find a new friend in need and give him or her a bit of...cheese (?). And maybe someday, "the dream that I wish will come true."